Minding the P’s and Q’s of SNL

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QUALITY: I can get used to Hammond’s Clinton joining in on McKinnon’s Clinton’s next two seasons (at least) of spotlight sketches. It’s the second best Bill with the second best Hillary! The first being portrayed by Hartman and Poehler respectively, but give McKinnon time. She’ll definitely have a lot more space to move then Bayer.

QUALITY: Bayer is ALL over this episode, putting up the kind of career numbers that some of our teams had hoped to see a bit more of this season. Nice to see her having fun, after an overall quiet (and likely busy AWAY from 30 Rock) Season 40, for The Smile!

PROBLEMATIC: Can we all agree that last night’s crowd was DEEEEAD? If SNL didn’t want you to laugh they would bring out Eddie Murphy after the next Chris Rock episode. I don’t have a ton of shining things to say about this Taraji P. Henson episode, at least she did go all out, but come ON you gob-smacked tourists! The cast deserved better on the last three-episode run of the season (probably).

PROBLEMATIC: Mumford & Sons were much more my jam BEFORE they started cosplaying as a bunch of Bruce Springsteens, looking to take that open spot for World’s Biggest Rock Band (TM, Grantland probably) after U2’s head first dive into each and every single Apple product.

PROBLEMATIC: Taraji P. Henson ended up going one-note, and that note was Cookie, for most of the night. As I said before, at least she did go all out. Not being helped by a weak crowd, and writers on the end of a three-show run, puts Henson in the bottom three in the Unofficial Host Power Rankings, better then Chris Rock though. We can thank Sesame Street for not being at the bottom!

Kate McKinnon, 88 points

• 7 points - cold open
• 5 points - reoccurring (Hilary Clinton)
• 2 points - along-side former cast (Daryl Hammond)
• 10 points - "LIVE FROM NEW YORK...!"
• 10 points - monologue
• 5 points - singing/dancing
• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 5 points - crying
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - sketch (QVC)
• 7 points - Weekend Update
• 5 points - reoccurring (Cecilia Gimenez)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Jane Lynch)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)

Vanessa Bayer, 69 points

• 7 points - cold open
• 10 points - monologue
• 5 points - singing/dancing
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Depend Legends)
• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 3 points - sketch voice-over (QVC)
• 7 points - Weekend Update
• 5 points - reoccurring (Jacob)
• 5 points - along-side former host (Billy Crystal)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 5 points - crying

Kenan Thompson, 57 points

• 5 points - promos
• 10 points - monologue
• 5 points - singing/dancing
• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Rick Ross)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)
• 3 points - sketch voice-over (Sesame Street with Cookie)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Reese D' What)

Taran Killam, 40 points

• 5 points - promos
• 10 points - monologue
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Vin Diesel)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 3 points - post-songs sketch (Connectatron)

Cecily Strong, 30 points

• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Sofia Vergara)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 3 points - post-songs sketch (Connectatron)

Jay Pharoah, 27 points

• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - sketch (How 2 Dance With Janelle)
• 3 points - post-songs sketch (Connectatron)

Bobby Moynihan, 18 points

• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 5 points - sketch (QVC)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 3 points - post-songs sketch (Connectatron)

Aidy Bryant, 10 points

• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 5 points - sketch (QVC)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)

Sasheer Zamata, 37 points

• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Rihana)
• 3 points - sketch voice-over (QVC)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)
• 5 points - sketch (How 2 Dance With Janelle)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Janelle)
• 5 points - host hug

Leslie Jones, 34 points

• 10 points - monologue
• 5 points - singing/dancing
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)

Pete Davidson, 27 points

• 10 points - monologue
• 5 points - singing/dancing
• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)

Beck Bennett, 22 points

• 7 points - pre-taped sketch (Depend Legends)
• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Nick Offerman)

Kyle Mooney, 20 points

• 5 points - promos
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 5 points - sketch (How 2 Dance With Janelle)
• 5 points - reoccurring (Teddy)

Taraji P. Henson, 54 points

• 5 points - sketch (Hot For Teacher)
• 10 points - pre-taped sketch (Home 2 Sneak Peak)
• 5 points - sketch (QVC)
• 10 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)
• 5 points - sketch (Hollywood Game Night)
• 2 points - swearing ("tall ass")
• 5 points - sketch (How 2 Dance With Janelle)
• 10 points - pre-taped sketch (Sesame Street with Cookie)
• 5 points - sketch (Cinema Classics)
• 5 points - sketch (Connectatron)
• minus 10 points - did not thank cast
• 2 points - embraces guest first

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, 10 points

• 10 points - pre-taped sketch (South Centros)

Billy Crystal, 10 points

• 10 points - Weekend Update

REPERTORY LEAGUE

THE IGNORANT SLUTS - Matt

Kate McKinnon - 88

Vanessa Bayer - 69

Beck Bennett - 22

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 183

ISOLATED ARCHIPELAGO - Rob

Taran Killam - 40

Kenan Thompson - 57

Pete Davidson - 27

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) The Wolf & 2) Believe

2 points - Vin Diesel impersonation
5 points - first song

10 points - second song

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 141

NATALIE PORTMAN'S DRY CLEANING - Sarah R

Kate McKinnon - 88

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Kyle Mooney - 20

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 130

BILLION DOLLAR MURRAYS - Russel

Cecily Strong - 30

Kenan Thompson - 57

Leslie Jones - 34

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 125

KEYROCK, KHAN, & ASSOCIATES - Saad

Vanessa Bayer - 69

Aidy Bryant - 10

Kyle Mooney - 20

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: No songs chosen.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 99

THE FUTURE MRS. RANDY GOLDMAN - Leah

Taran Killam - 40

Sasheer Zamata - 37

Aidy Bryant - 10

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: No songs chosen.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 87

THE NOT READY FOR FIRST PLACE PLAYERS - Kevin M

Jay Pharoah - 27

Cecily Strong - 30

Beck Bennett - 22

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 83

THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - Brian

Jay Pharoah - 27

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Pete Davidson - 27

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 76

FEATURED LEAGUE

DAMIAN AND THE FELINE SOCIOPATHS - Andrew

Kate McKinnon - 88

Vanessa Bayer - 69

Kenan Thompson - 57

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) The Wolf & 2) Believe

5 points - first song

10 points - second song

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 229

DAN AKROYD RAGE - Mark

Kate McKinnon - 88

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Beck Bennett - 22

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) The Wolf & 2) Believe

5 points - first song

10 points - second song

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 143

FALLON IN LOVE - Johnny

Kenan Thompson - 57

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Pete Davidson - 27

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 106

THE NIGHT CRAWLERZ - Kevin K

Taran Killam - 40

Jay Pharoah - 27

Beck Bennett - 22

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 93

THE VONDRUKES - Samantha

Jay Pharoah - 27

Leslie Jones - 34

Cecily Strong - 30

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: No songs chosen.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 91

SKANKY LITTLE PROSTITUTES - Mike

Aidy Bryant - 10

Cecily Strong - 30

Sasheer Zamata - 37

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 81

PARDO ME - Hannah

Taran Killam - 40

Aidy Bryant - 10

Kyle Mooney - 20

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: No songs chosen.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 70

THREE LEGGED JEANS - Lori

Kate McKinnon - 88

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Kenan Thompson - 57

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) The Wolf & 2) Believe

5 points - first song

10 points - second song

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 178

MARTHA STEWART'S HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: TOPLESS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - Robb

Taran Killam - 40

Vanessa Bayer - 69

Sasheer Zamata - 37

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 150

MY DOLL'S NAME IS JENNY - Doug

Vanessa Bayer - 69

Bobby Moynihan - 18

Kyle Mooney - 20

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) The Wolf & 2) Believe

5 points - first song

10 points - second song

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 122

THE LAND SHARKS - Jason

Kate McKinnon - 88

Kyle Mooney - 20

Aidy Bryant - 10

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: No songs chosen.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 118

SANTA'S MY BOYFRIEND - Megan

Taran Killam - 40

Cecily Strong - 30

Aidy Bryant - 10

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 84

SUCK IT TREBEK - Sarah C

Jay Pharoah - 27

Cecily Strong - 30

Beck Bennett - 22

MUSICAL GUEST - Mumford & Sons - SONGS: 1) Believe & 2) The Wolf

2 points - song chosen

2 points - song chosen

EPISODE EIGHTEEN TOTAL 83

PHIL HARTMAN TROPHY STANDINGS (after Episode 40x18)

1. The Ignorant Sluts - 2, 333
2. Natalie Portman's Dry Cleaning - 2, 307
3. Isolated Archipelago - 2, 232
4. Billion Dollar Murrays - 2, 224
5. The Future Mrs. Randy Goldman - 2, 164
6. The Team You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party - 2, 056
7. The Not Ready For First Place Players - 2, 033
8. Keyrock, Khan, & Associates - 1, 730

FEATURED LEAGUE STANDINGS for the GILDED RADNER

1. Three Legged Jeans - 2, 575
2. Damian and the Feline Sociopaths - 2, 310
3. Dan Akroyd Rage - 2, 278
4. Santa's My Boyfriend - 2, 260
5. The Night Crawlerz - 2, 194
6. Martha Stewat's Home for the Holidays: Topless Christmas Special - 2, 191
7. The Land Sharks - 2, 142
8. Fallon In Love - 2, 104
9. Pardo Me - 2, 064
10. Skanky Little Prostitutes - 2, 016
11. The Vondrukes - 2, 002
12. Suck It Trebek - 1, 994
13. My Doll's Name is Jenny - 1, 926

Vanessa Bayer’s Career Achievement Night shook up the standings in both league! Damian and the Feline Sociopaths came out of nowhere, jumping into that runner-up spot in the Featured League Standings for the Gilded Radner, while Santa’s My Boyfriend slipped to fourth after a season being nailed into the top two spots!

Also, hope you didn’t expect the Ignorant Sluts to be out of the top spot in the Race for the Phil Hartman Trophy for more then two straight weeks, because the reigning Champion found a way BACK on top thanks to Bayer’s best night since Miley Cyrus hosted during season 39! The Ignorant Sluts now having a bigger lead on Natalie Portman’s Dry Cleaning, then was had on the Sluts last week.

Scarlett Johansson is hosting the nineteenth episode of season 40! Congrats to Isolated Archipelago’s and to Santa’s My Boyfriend on nailing down that host prognostication. Not only does that give Santa’s My Boyfriend the chance to regain, at least, the second spot in the Featured League , but it also puts the Isolated Archipelago in the position to take the top spot in the Reparatory League for the first time this season with two moe  episodes to go in the year!

We’ll see you ALL in THREE WEEKS, when Scarlett Johansson hosts the nineteenth episode of Saturday Night Live, with a still yet to be decided Musical Guest!

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