Saturday Night Live Fantasy League: Episode 43x13: Natalie Portman & Dua Lipa
February 05, 2018
Saturday Night Live Fantasy League presented by Trivia Club, is a Fantasy League like no other. Like Fantasy Football for the comedy geek, participants draft cast members and prospective hosts before the start of the season and then are awarded points based of their performance through a scoring system. For additional points, before the start of each episode participants can guess which two songs they think the musical guest will perform. Since the beginning, this television institution has become the first step in the major leagues of comedy stardom, and with over forty seasons of familiar traditions, we’ve found a way to add math to comedy and somehow make that a fun game to play. Play at home, or keep tabs on how we’re doing in our Saturday Night Live Fantasy League!
For more thoughts on Saturday Night Live, join Brian Edwards, of
the SNL Fantasy League team The Team You
Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party, on the
Deep Thoughts on SNL podcast!
Subscribe, listen, enjoy! Deep Thoughts, when they can, also tweets during the
show, so join in on twitter!
REPERTORY CAST
Beck Bennett, 46
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 7 points – pre-taped sketch (Natalie Portman Rap 2)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Andy Sandberg)
- 2 points – swearing (“****”)
- 5 points – breaks through window
- 5 points – sketch (Butt Face)
Kate McKinnon, 44
points
- 10 points – monologue
- 7 points – Weekend Update
- 5 points – kiss
- 2 points – swearing (“bitch”)
- 5 points – sketch (2018 Kids’ Choice Awards Orange Carpet)
- 5 points – reoccurring (Ellen)
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
- 5 points – reoccurring (Hillary Clinton)
Kenan Thompson, 44
points
- 5 points - promos
- 10 points – monologue
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 7 points – Weekend Update
- 5 points – reoccurring (Willie)
Pete Davidson, 37
points
- 5 points - promos
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- minus 2 points – breaking
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 7 points – Weekend Update
- 5 points – as Himself
- 5 points – sketch (2018 Kids’ Choice Awards Orange Carpet)
Cecily Strong, 37
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 7 points – Weekend Update
- 5 points - kiss
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
- 5 points – reoccurring (Melania Trump)
- 3 points – 10 to 1 sketch (Too Picky)
Leslie Jones, 25
points
- 10 points – monologue
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
- 5 points – reoccurring (Michelle Obama)
Alec Baldwin, 22
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – reoccurring (Donald Trump)
- 10 points – “LIVE FROM NEW YORK…!”
Aidy Bryant, 18
points
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
- 5 points – breaks through window
- 3 points – 10 to 1 sketch (Too Picky)
Kyle Mooney, 12
points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
FEATURED CAST
Alex Moffat, 31
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 7 points – pre-taped sketch (Natalie Portman Rap 2)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Andy Sandberg)
Chris Redd 24
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (2018 Kids’ Choice Awards Orange Carpet)
Mikey Day, 22
points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 5 points – sketch (2018 Kids’ Choice Awards Orange Carpet)
Heidi Gardner, 22
points
- 7 points – cold open
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 3 points – 10 to 1 sketch (Too Picky)
Luke Null, 22
points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 5 points – gushes blood
Melissa Villaseñor,
5 points
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
HOST
Natalie Portman, 79
points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
- 5 points – sketch (Stranger Things 3)
- 10 points – pre-taped sketch (Natalie Portman Rap 2)
- 5 points - rapping
- 5 points – alongside former host (Andy Sandberg)
- 22 points – swearing (4x “f*ck”, 2x “mothaf*ck”, 2x “****”, “bitch”, “d***s”, “sh*t”)
- 5 points – sketch (Butt Face)
- 5 points – sketch (2018 Kids’ Choice Awards Orange Carpet)
- 5 points – sketch (State of the Union)
- 5 points – sketch (Too Picky)
Andy Samberg, 17
points
- 7 points – pre-taped sketch (Natalie Portman Rap 2)
- 5 points – singing/dancing
- 5 points – reoccurring (Viking)
Rachel Dratch, 10
points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 5 points – alongside former host (Tina Fey)
Tina Fey, 7 points
- 5 points – sketch (New England Patriots)
- 2 points – alongside former cast (Rachel Dratch)
Beck Bennett - 46
Aidy Bryant - 18
Kenan Thompson - 44
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa - SONGS: 1) New Rules & 2) IDGAF
5 points – first song
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 113
The Not Ready For
First Place Players – Kevin M.
Kenan Thompson - 44
Aidy Bryant - 18
Kyle Mooney – 12
Andy Samberg - 17
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa - SONGS: 1) New Rules & 2) IDGAF
5 points – first song
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 96
War Horse Can Dance – Megan
M.
Cecily Strong - 37
Alex Moffat - 31
Leslie Jones - 25
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa – NO SONGS CHOSEN
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 93
The Team You Wish
You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party – Brian
E.
Cecily Strong - 37
Mikey Day - 22
Alex Moffat - 31
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa – NO SONGS CHOSEN
5 points – first song
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 90
Holtzwomenn – Sarah R.
Beck Bennett - 46
Alec Baldwin – 22
Kyle Mooney - 12
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa – NO SONGS CHOSEN
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 80
Billion Dollar
Murrays – Russel H.
Kate McKinnon – 44
Mikey Day - 22
Tina Fey - 7
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa - SONGS: 1) New Rules & 2) IDGAF
5 points – first song
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 78
The Ignorant Sluts – Matthew S.
Kate McKinnon - 44
Alec Baldwin - 22
MUSICAL GUEST – Dua Lipa - SONGS: 1) New Rules & 2) IDGAF
EPISODE THIRTEEN TOTAL 71
| # | TEAM NAME | ∧∨-- | HIGH[EP] | HOST | SONG | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Party Andersons | -- | 174 [09] | 197 | 48 | 1526 |
| 2 | War Horse Can Dance | -- | 138 [09] | 0 | 75 | 1331 |
| 3 | The Team You Wish You Hadn’t Started A Conversation With At A Party |
-- | 137 [07] | 15 | 27 | 1264 |
| 4 | Not Ready For First Place Players | ∧1 | 117 [06] | 17 | 59 | 1135 |
| 5 | The Ignorant Sluts | ∨1 | 171 [12] | 276 | 99 | 1121 |
| 6 | Billion Dollar Murrays | -- | 139 [07] | 7 | 102 | 1089 |
| 7 | Holtzwomenn | -- | 135 [04] | 30 | 34 | 887 |
This’ll be a short recap,
only because after a fourth consecutive week and with a month long break
ahead due to the Winter Olympics, I feel about as inspired as it seems the
writers were on this Natalie Portman hosted episode. It’s startling that
Portman hasn’t hosted in 12 years, and also that it looks like Charles Barkley
will join the Five Timers Club before Jon Hamm does (thanks Matthew S. for
pointing that out in the Deep Thoughts group chat), but we’ll get to our next
host in a second. I’ve now convinced myself, given the evidence from the rest
of the episode, that Natalie Portman came back because Lonely Island got in
their heads a sequel for the endlessly watchable Natalie Portman Rap. I’ll give
the sequel this as well, it was the best sketch of the night… and it certainly
was better then the Prequels (ducks whiskey bottle).
Charles Barkley will be hosting for a fourth time somehow, this
time next month! And our musical guest March 3rd, after the Winter
Olympics will be Migos… which makes me think, how they brought Migos in as
musical guest and DIDN’T look in Donald Glover as the host is very confusing.
Then again, I’ve stopped trying to make sense of Lorne’s hosting schedule and
my prognosticating record for hosts agrees with me. See you all next month for
another points breakdown! We’re having fun!
LAST EPISODE: WILL FERRELL
NEXT EPISODE: CHARLES BARKLEY
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