Saturday Night Live Fantasy League: Episode 39x06: Lady Gaga
November 18, 2013
Minding the P's & Q's of SNL
QUALITY: “You’re now watching the Canadian Broadcasting
Corporation, thanks a bunch!”
PROBLEMATIC: All the material you have on Rob Ford, and all
the footage of him and his dumb red face talking in that naisely voice… and you
give me an entire sketch made up of shoddily practiced Newfy accents. Shall I
have made fun of Anthony Weiner with a dopey Fargo accent? I am GOD-DAMNED
disappointed. In all of you.
QUALITY: That stage dive. Bravo, Moynihan.
QUALITY: Also, I will always enjoy a prolonged dick joke.
Always.
PROBLEMATIC: Seriously though, what the hell SNL
writers? I want to love you, but when you portray Canada like that I remember
just how lazy you can be with your comedy. “I’m from Canada, they think I’m
slow, eh.”
PROBLEMATIC: Let me put it in a way that you can understand,
since you’ve clearly never been to Canada, Saturday Night Live (Killam, what,
you never visited your in-laws?!)… when it comes to Rob Ford commentary, you
are Anthony Weiner in the New York City mayoral race to The Daily Show’s Bill
De Blasio. You aren’t losing, you’ve lost and you’ve embarrassed yourself in
the process. Also, Jon Stewart seems SO MUCH COOLER. But then, we already knew
that part.
QUALITY/PROBLEMATIC: Yes, Toronto, Bobby Moynihan just “LIVE
FROM NEW YORK”ed AS Rod Ford. Take pride in your shame, tonight!
QUALITY: Speaking of taking pride in your shame… cheap heat
is just the kind of precedent you should be setting, Gaga! Well played.
QUALITY: Though her Monroe pastiche in the opening monologue
is PROMLEMATIC, I have to say I haven’t seen I haven’t seen this level of
showmanship since Joseph Gorden-Levitt’s “Make ‘Em Laugh”! Applause!
PROBELMATIC: When Pharoah and Nasim are doing out-sized
versions of Kanye and Kim respectively, it’s your job to play the Apple Genius
Bar employee straight, Lady Gaga. Too much weird doesn’t make things funnier,
it distracts from the quality that’s already at present and steals focus.
QUALITY: I will say this though, Lady Gaga knows how to do a take to the camera a hell of a lot better then Miley Cyrus.
PROBLEMATIC: Yeah, when your first song starts and I think
it’s another sketch, that may not be a good sign of your current trajectory,
Gaga.
PROBLEMATIC: Anything that happens during the sketch, I mean
song, doing nothing to defer my thinking it’s a joke.
QUALITY: R. Kelly appearance is always a plus for
entertainment purposes!
QUALITY: Hurray for super hot crowd!
PROBLEMATIC: Nope, sorry Weekend Update. It might be that I
was in fact spoiled by Colbert and Stewart this week but your Ford jokes were
cutting room floor fodder.
PROBLEMATIC: Kenan Thompson as a grumpy old man named Mr.
Senior is lazy shorthand for EVERY Kenan character. I swear, O’Brien must have
learned his self-satisfied grin from Kenan… except Thompson is far too tenured
to get benched and will INSTEAD just eat up 5-plus minutes of airtime.
QUALITY: “And don’t get me started on that beard… what was
her name? Mary Todd?” Really all of Jebidiah Atkinson was gold.
PROBLEMATIC: Fun moments, and good character work didn’t
make Spotlightz feel any less over long.
QUALITY: Points for the all-in on weirdness for the Death of Blockbuster digital short. All the way up to and including the hidden
paradise/bum make-out.
PROBLEMATIC: You’re committing all night Lady Gaga, and then
you botch the lip-synching? That’s just disappointing!
PROBLEMATIC: Oh, and dude, when the pearly ornamental collar
is poking you in the face you should probably stand up.
PROBLEMATIC: Seriously though, something about these musical
numbers came off as awkward and disjointed. What WAS it? Even the camera work
and lighting seemed a bit off, no?
QUALITY: Admittedly I haven’t made a lot of positive
comments about the sketches that I did enjoy so I wanted to balance out the
problematic notes with a little bit of that, and a little bit of quality heads
up to the 4th Grade Talent Show sketch. Mihilsner finally gets more
character word then simply the ass-end of Bruce Willis’ Centaur! I mean… WHAT A
NUMBER!
QUALITY: Damn SNL, when you go all out with these final
sketches of the night like with Edward Norton and with tonight’s Lady Gaga
2063, you go ALL OUT! Bravo to Gaga for being willing to take this much of the
piss out of herself, up to and including the “because people couldn’t figure out
if you were a lady or a dude” bit.
QUALITY: Points for decking out the future apartment with
your Grammys and MTV VMA’s, but extra points for the roast beef chin strap.
“Looks like you tripped and fell at a deli.”
QUALITY: “And I love The Smiths. Willow and Jaden.”
QUALITY: Okay, ending your turn on SNL with a sad and
pathetic rendition of your current single will indeed get my applause, if
anything because it’s ballsy.
PROBLEMATIC: You and I are at an impasse on tonight’s how,
internet. Lady Gaga was an energetic, if grating host. Naturally an opinion of
a pop star (especially a pop star going through a promotional cycle) will color
any SNL appearance, let alone hosting appearance. But no, she was more Beiber then
Timberlake. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if she hosted again. She's done better (though not as a host) before.
REPARATORY
CAST
Bobby Moynihan, 85 points
- 15 points - cold open
- 2 points - "Kiss my fat f*cking WHITE ASS!"
- 5 points - sings/dances
- 20 points - LIVE FROM NEW YORK!
- 10 points - opening monologue
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing
- 2 points - introduces musical guest
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
- 5 points - kissing
- 1 point - sketch NPC post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
Taran Killam, 63 points
- 15 points - cold open
- 10 points - commercial parody (Paxil Second Term Strength)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 10 points - Weekend Update (Jebidiah Atkinson)
- 2 points - swearing (boring ASS)
- 5 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
- 5 points - kissing
- 1 point - sketch NPC post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
Aidy Bryant, 59 points
- 10 points - opening monologue
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 5 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
- 5 points - kissing
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
- 5 points - commercial parody post-second song (Rose Zone)
- 2 points - swearing (And I'm like f*ck that sh*t.)
Jay Pharoah, 50 points
- 15 points - cold open
- 10 points - commercial parody (Paxil Second Term Strength)
- 5 points - reoccurring character (Obama)
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - reoccurring character (Kanye)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing
Kenan Thompson, 44 points
- 5 points - promos
- 10 points - opening monologue
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songsof All Time)
- 5 points - singing
- 10 points - Weekend Update (Mr. Senior)
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (Upper West-Side 2063)
Cecily Strong, 35 points
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 5 points - commercial parody post-second song (Rose Zone)
Kate McKinnon, 35 points
- 15 points - cold open
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
Nasim Pedrad, 25 points
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - reoccurring character (Kim Kardashian)
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
Vanessa Bayer, 22 points
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 5 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
- 5 points - commercial parody post-second song (Rose Zone)
FEATURED CAST
Noel Wells, 40 points
- 5 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 5 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
John Milhiser, 22 points
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - digital short NPC (Blockbuster)
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (4th GradeTalent Contest)
- 5 points - dancing
Kyle Mooney, 20 points
- 10 points - Weekend Update
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 5 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
Beck Bennett, 20 points
- 5 points - Weekend Update NPC
- 5 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
Brooks Wheelan, 15 points
- 5 points - commercial parody NPC (Paxil Second Term Strength)
- 5 points - Weekend Update NPC
- 5 points - digital short NPC (Blockbuster)
Mike O'Brien, 15 points
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
- 5 points - kissing
HOST
Lady Gaga, 47 points
- 5 points - singing/dancing in cold open
- 2 points - sketch (Waking Up With Kimye)
- 2 points - sketch (Whaaaat? Worst Cover Songs of All Time)
- 5 points - singing of... Madonna?
- 5 points - singing/dancing with R. Kelly for first song
- 2 points - sketch (Co-Op Board)
- 2 points - sketch (Spotlightz)
- 10 points - digital short (Blockbuster)
- 5 points - kissing
- 5 points - singing second song
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (4th Grade Talent Contest)
- 5 points - dancing
- 2 points - sketch post-second song (Upper West-Side 2063)
- 5 points - singing her greatest hits up to and including 2013 when her career seemingly ended (seems about right)
- minus 10 points - doesn't hug any cast member during goodnight
Even given my less then impressed view of the show overall, it can't be denied that Gaga's influence on the show meant a major uptick in points for most players. Which included Noel Wells having her biggest night to date. Moynihan, on the steam of the Rob Ford cold opener, was also off on the races having the kind of points night that has only been topped by Vanessa Bayer (quiet tonight) during the Miley Cyrus episode!
EBERSOL GROUP
RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - Rob
Taran Killam - 63
Aidy Bryant - 59
Mike O' Brien - 15
Kyle Mooney - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Do What U
Want & 2) Gypsy
5 points for first song
10 points for second song
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 172
DAN AYKROYD RAGE - Mark
Vanessa Bayer - 22
Bobby Moynihan - 85
Kyle Mooney - 20
Noel Wells - 40
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Applause
& 2) Do What U Want
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 167
FIVE TIMERS CLUB - Leah
Kenan Thompson - 44
Nasim Pedrad - 25
Mike O'Brien - 15
Beck Bennet - 20
Lady Gaga - 47
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Venus
& 2) Applause
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 151
THE IGNORANT SLUTS - Matt
Kate McKinnon - 35
Cecily Strong - 35
Beck Bennett - 20
John Mihiser - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Do What U
Want & 2) Gypsy
5 points for first song
10 points for second song
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 127
EXTREME CLOSE-UP! - Jack
Jay Pharoah - 50
Brooks Wheelan - 15
Noel Wells - 40
John Mihiser - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: No song
selected.
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 127
DOUMANIAN GROUP
MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - Russel
Bobby Moynihan - 85
Jay Pharoah - 50
Kyle Mooney - 20
Beck Bennett - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Applause
& 2) Do What U Want
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 175
BILL BRASKY - Saad
Taran Killam - 63
Aidy Bryant - 59
Mike O'Brien - 15
John Mihiser - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: No songs
selected.
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 159
THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED
A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - Brian
Kate McKinnon - 35
Cecily Strong - 35
Mike O' Brien - 15
Noel Wells - 40
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Gypsy
& 2) Do What U Want
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 125
SUCK IT TREBEK - Sarah
Kenan Thompson - 44
Brooks Wheelan - 15
Noel Wells - 40
Kyle Mooney - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Applause
& 2) Venus
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 119
YOU KNOW, IT'S THE TEAM THE
HIGH-WASITED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND THE BIG ASS - Kevin
Nasim Pedrad - 25
Vanessa Bayer - 22
Beck Bennett - 20
John Mihiser - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Lady Gaga - SONGS: 1) Applause
& 2) Do What U Want
EPISODE SIX TOTAL 89
SEASON 39 OVERALL STANDINGS (after Episode 39x06)
- MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - 935
- THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - 847
- THE IGNORANT SLUTS - 846
- RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - 836
- DAN AKROYD RAGE - 834
- BILL BRASKY - 761
- FIVE TIMERS CLUB - 745
- SUCK IT TREBEK - 715
- EXTREME CLOSE-UP - 685
- YOU KNOW IT'S THE TEAM WITH THE HIGH-WAISTED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND BIG ASS - 656
The Million Dollar Bill Murrays seem to be opening a lead on the rest of the field, as Lady Gaga's hosting points proved to at most bring the Five Timers Club within a punchers chance of fifth place. The race could potentially be for second-place, depending on how the predictions for host shake out.
Either way, I will continue to follow the letter of the rules and prepare the trophy to be unveiled to the winner at the end of the season. And what will this trophy be balled, might you ask. After much mulling over in our Deep Thoughts message board, the SNL Fantasy League has decided to call our trophy...
THE PHIL HARTMAN TROPHY!
After it was brought to the fore, it made complete sense. It will stand as memorial to one of the strongest cast members to ever be a part of Saturday Night Live, and a Canadian at that! So to the pinical of enjoying SNL the geekiest way we know how, goes the Hartman Trophy! Look forward to the pictures.
Stay in the conversation! Trivia Club would LOVE to hear feedback on Saturday Night Live Fantasy so far, either in the blogs comment section, on Trivia Club's facebook page or in our twitter feed. For now we'll be taking a week away to discuss, debate, and possibly trade amongst ourselves.
Next week is the dude from The Hunger Games movies, the character named after bread! To that I say, good for him! I mean, if this was a fair and honest world I wouldn't have even asked for Jennifer Lawerence, Jeffrey Wright would do just fine (yes, Jean Michel Basquiat is in the Hunger Games sequel), but I'll honestly stop ragging on Josh Hutcherson until he actually hosts. And his episode will also give us further oppurtunities to see how poorly we predicted Hosts this season! Huzzah?
Wait, am I too old for this show? |
So we'll see you in NEXT WEEK you SNL Fantasy Leaguers, but until then... see you at Trivia Club!
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