Saturday Night Live Fantasy League: Episode 39x05: Kerry Washington & Eminem

November 03, 2013


Minding the P's & Q's of SNL

QUALITY: The cold opening NAILS the diversity problem on the head, quicker then even I expected when Kerry Washington was first announced as a host. Ballsy.
QUALITY: Yes, Kerry Washington is as infinitely likable a host as you might hope.
PROBLEMATIC: Throwing to a room full of Matthew McConaheys before bringing out Rev. Al Sharpton, ESPECIALLY Sharpton, felt as half-written as possible. I get why you wanted to do this cold opening, but I haaate under-planned endings. They’re something SNL has gotten much better at NOT doing.
QUALITY: Still, it’s GOOD to have someone finally playing the First Lady of the United States when you realize the INFINITE time given to Hillary Clinton (and her many iterations) this season.
QUALITY: Nasim spotlight sketch! What can I say, I was infinitely amused by the over abundance of sound effects and pelvic thrusts in the service of motivational speaking, even if the live crowd didn’t sound entirely sold on the weirdness of Career Week.
QUALITY: “Respect my ability to assess a bucket.”
PROBLEMATIC: Mike O’Brien is the worst cast member at this thing called character acting. Still, does that make his every appearance something QUALITY? Weeeell, we aren’t there yet.
QUALITY: That’s right, you tell ‘em how silly it is for people to read recaps on shows they just watched. Pffft, white people. That’s like being part of a fantasy football league, as if WATCHING football ain’t entertaining enough you’ve got to add MATH! Hey… wait… NO ONE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS!
QUALITY: Seriously the only thing I’ve noticed so far, is how much Kerry Washington’s appearance has put a spotlight on the PROBLEMATIC fact that strong black female presence would add to the show SO NICELY.
PROBLEMATIC: Then again, if the diversity door stays open, we’ll have to talk about the fact that Nasim Pedrad is as Asian as SNL has ever been.
PROBLEMATIC: Christian Laettner, we need to talk about you being a part of the 1992 Dream Team. It makes less sense 20 years later.
PROBLEMATIC: We no longer have a draught in our Host Predicition Draft…
QUALITY: CONGRATS to THE FIVE-TIMERS CLUB! Honestly, Leah had the first pick and she used it well. Even though Lady Gaga hadn’t been officially announced, she’s been rumored since Tina, Miley, and Bruce got the nod to begin the season! I think the Miley nod had us all weary that it was going to happen, not to mention the Lady Gaga Talk Show during the WILLIS episode. We won’t even get into the fact that Miley and Katy Perry feel infinitely more relevant then Gaga lately, but SNL hosts come in all phases… should be an interesting episode. And after that announcement it was back to our usual success in predicting.
PROBLEMATIC: She certainly sells her cocaine fueled appearance like a CHAMP, but Kate McKinnon as your go to Latin American cast member is like casting Fred Armisan as Barack Obama!
QUALITY: You’re livin’ the dream, McKinnon!
QUALITY: RICK RUBIN IS ON SNL! Seriously, when does this crazy wizard get to Host?
PROBLEMATIC: I loved seeing Rick Rubin up there, LOVED the set-up, and I quite enjoy  “Berzerk” as a song, but something was consistently lacking in Eminem’s performance. For such a HYPE song, he was half there for it. I’m THIS close to calling an Ashlee Simpson on the first song.
QUALITY: I appreciated it when Cecily Strong was so surprised by the boisterous laughter of That One Guy, that she just HAD to say something.
QUALITY: Calling out how long it took to rehearse a cheap gag, Seth? You’re practicing for Late Night already! Conan would be proud! Jimmy, however, is so much more professional then that.
PROBLEMATIC: Jason Segal, you know when your lack of shirt was the punch line AFTER Nickleback tickets… hey wait, you got skinny, son!
PROBLEMATIC: Gaaah, what IS eating New York City’s rats?!
QUALITY: That Kanye joke, Ms. Strong? Delicious. Go on, BASK in that applause.
QUALITY: “You don’t look at anything except the tip of your nose.” Sometimes it’s the simple things that’re the funniest. Keep crossing them eyes, Jay!
PROBLEMATIC: What are you doing NOT fist-pumping Cecily Strong?! For shame for leaving her hanging, ffffor shame!
QUALITY: Classy move, with the memorial clip for Lou Reed.
PROBLEMATIC: Phew, and you TRIED to sell that sketch didn’t you Aidy?
PROBLEMATIC: Does it look like Eminem is reading off of cue cards because he’s playing to the front row?
QUALITY: I appreciate that Eminem came to town with the intense rock-fueled one-two punch of songs, even if meant I didn't get the second song right.
QUALITY: It may have been in garbage time, but there was just something about the transparent delivery/complete insanity that had me laughing the most.
QUALITY: “Around… how?”
PROBLEMATIC: We get it Eminem you don’t smile. But if you’re going to show THAT level of enthusiasm join Brooks in the back. At least HE’S smiling now!
QUALITY: Washington may have hugged J-Faux first, but she somehow was lucky to find McKinnon right after! He living the dream!

REPARATORY CAST
Jay Pharoah, 65 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Barack Obama)
  • 10 points - music video parody (What Does My Girl Say?)
  • 5 points - sketch (How's He Doing?)
  • 5 points - reoccurring (How's He Doing?) 
  • 10 points - Weekend Update
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Shaquille O'Neal)
  • 5 points - sketch (Fall Carnival)
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Principal Frye)

Kate McKinnon, 47 points
  • 10 points - music video parody (What Does My Girl Say?)
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 10 points - open-mouth kissing
  • 10 points - Weekend Update (Chancellor Angela Merkel)
  • 2 points - sketch NPC (Cartoon Catchphrase)
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)
  • 5 points - first cast member hugged by Host

Nasim Pedrad, 35 points
  • 5 points - promos
  • 5 points - sketch (Career Week)
  • 5 points - dancing (with SFX!)
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 10 points - open-mouth kissing
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Kenan Thompson, 45 points
  • 10 points - opening monologue
  • 5 points - sketch (How's He Doing?)
  • 5 points - sketch (How's He Doing?)
  • 10 points - Weekend Update
  • 5 points - sketch (Fall Carnival)
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Booker T. coach)
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Aidy Bryant, 31 points
  • 5 points - sketch (Career Week)
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)
  • 4 points - swearing (ass-to-ass)
  • 2 points - sketch post-second song (Date or Diss)
  • 10 points - nudity (Bitch Apartment topless promo)

Taran Killam, 37 points
  • 5 points - promos
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)
  • 2 points - sketch post-second song (Date or Diss)
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Vanessa Bayer, 30 points
  • 10 points - opening monologue
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)
  • 5 points - sketch (Fall Carnival)
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Bobby Moynihan, 30 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 10 points - opening monologue
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)

Cecily Strong, 32 points
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)
  • 10 points - Weekend Update
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)
  • 2 points - sketch post-second song (Date or Diss)
  • 10 points - nudity (Bitch Apartment topless promo)

FEATURED CAST
Mike O'Brien, 25 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 5 points - sketch (Career Week)
  • 5 points - sketch (Cartoon Catchphrase)

John Milhiser, 15 points
  • 15 points - cold open

Noel Wells, 5 points
  • 5 points - sketch (Miss Universe Moscow 2013)

Kyle Mooney, 20 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Beck Bennett, 20 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 5 points - digital sketch post-second song (Ice Cream)

Brooks Wheelan, 17 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 2 points - digital sketch NPC post-second song (Ice Cream)

A quiet week for the featured cast, as Noel Wells did maybe the most work, other then Mike O'Brien, even if the points don't show it. Good Neighbors is still giving Bennett and Mooney a late show outlet. Jay Pharoah had his busiest show so far this season. There's something to be said for being the cast member matched with the host for that boyfriend/girlfriend spot. We saw Killam get a big boost in the Mily Cyrus episode thanks to this.


EBERSOL GROUP


FIVE TIMERS CLUB - Leah
Kenan Thompson - 45
Nasim Pedrad - 35
Mike O'Brien - 25
Beck Bennet - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) The Monster & 2) Berzerk
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 125

THE IGNORANT SLUTS - Matt
Kate McKinnon - 47
Cecily Strong - 32
Beck Bennett - 20
John Mihiser - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Berzerk & 2) Rap God
5 points for first song
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 119

RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - Rob
Taran Killam - 37
Aidy Bryant - 31
Mike O' Brien - 25
Kyle Mooney - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Bezerk & 2) Rap God
5 points for first song
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 118

EXTREME CLOSE-UP! - Jack
Jay Pharoah - 65
Brooks Wheelan - 17
Noel Wells - 5
John Mihiser - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: No songs chosen.
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 102

DAN AYKROYD RAGE - Mark
Vanessa Bayer - 30
Bobby Moynihan - 30
Kyle Mooney -20
Noel Wells - 5
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Rap God & 2) The Monster
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 85


DOUMANIAN GROUP

MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - Russel
Bobby Moynihan - 30
Jay Pharoah - 65
Kyle Mooney - 20
Beck Bennett - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Berzerk & 2) The Monster
5 points for first song
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 140

YOU KNOW, IT'S THE TEAM THE HIGH-WASITED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND THE BIG ASS - Kevin
Nasim Pedrad - 35
Vanessa Bayer - 30
Beck Bennett - 20
John Mihiser - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Berzerk & 2) Survival
5 points for first song
10 points for second song
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 115

THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - Brian
Kate McKinnon - 47
Cecily Strong - 32
Mike O' Brien - 25
Noel Wells - 5
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Berzerk & 2) Rap God
5 points for first song
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 114

BILL BRASKY - Saad
Taran Killam - 37
Aidy Bryant - 31
Mike O'Brien - 25
John Mihiser - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: No songs chosen.
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 108

SUCK IT TREBEK - Sarah
Kenan Thompson - 45
Brooks Wheelan - 17
Noel Wells - 5
Kyle Mooney - 20
MUSICAL GUEST - Eminem - SONGS: 1) Rap God & 2) Berzerk
EPISODE FIVE TOTAL 87


SEASON 39 OVERALL STANDINGS (after Episode 39x05)
  1. MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - 770
  2. THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - 722
  3. THE IGNORANT SLUTS - 719
  4. DAN AKROYD RAGE - 667
  5. RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - 664
  6. SUCK IT TREBEK - 606
  7. FIVE TIMERS CLUB - 604
  8. BILL BRASKY - 602
  9. EXTREME CLOSE-UP - 568
  10. YOU KNOW IT'S THE TEAM WITH THE HIGH-WAISTED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND BIG ASS - 567
Loving SNL Fantasy League as much as I am? Stay in the conversation! Trivia Club would LOVE to hear feedback on Saturday Night Live Fantasy so far, either in the blogs comment section, on Trivia Club's facebook page or in our twitter feed. For now we'll be taking a week away to discuss, debate, and possibly trade amongst ourselves.

The standings have tightened up, and as they do we'll have to hold our breaths an EXTRA WEEK as Lady Gaga hosts a brand-new episode on the 16th of November! The Five Timers Club won't be at eighth place for much longer, as we get to see what kind of impact a Host can make on a team!

AND she's her own musical guest, so enjoy the costume changes!
So we'll see you in TWO WEEKS you SNL Fantasy Leaguers, but until then... see you at Trivia Club!

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