Saturday Night Live Fantasy League: Episode 39x03: Bruce Willis & Katy Perry

October 13, 2013




Minding the P's & Q's of SNL

QUALITY: A topical segment, both with current events and with pop culture, the mash-up of Gravity and the Government Shutdown practically shuttering NASA was a quick and funny segment that showed the strength of four of SNL’s current Starting Five (with Moynihan the only one sitting out of the proceedings, though he DID get to join in on the opening monologue).
QUALITY: “If that’s the case, why don’t we make this asphyxiation… an erotic one.”
PROBLEMATIC: Kate McKinnon doing funky accents, like in the opening, IS funny but is also starting to have diminishing returns if the material isn’t also funny. See also: Cruze, Penelope.
QUALITY/PROBLEMATIC: Wait, when was the last time the cold-opening hung on the precipice of almost certain death?
QUALITY: Bruuuuuuuce, from the crowd at the opening. Yes, in case you forget, this is live from NEW YORK. We are DANGEROUSLY close to New Jersey.
PROBLEMATIC: Just for Bruce Willis’ career, even HE doesn’t know how many Die Hard’s they’ve been. Five, Bruce. Five. Also there hasn’t been a harmonica jam in the opening monologue since 1989, so I guess it’s time?
QUALITY: Bobby Fuckin’ Moynihan.
QUALITY: "And the award goes to yoooou for good acting!" Never stop pounding energy drinks, Killam!
QUALITY: Of the first three hosts, Willis is far and away the most game (which retroactively makes Fey PROBLEMATIC since she some how found herself at the bottom of the totem), absolutely nailing a show that admittedly…
PROBLEMATIC: The show lacked in coherent material what it luckily made up for with an able host and strong cast. For instance, I LIKED the Barbershop sketch or more I liked parts of it but it fell apart on Bruce Willis’ Terry character. Sheryl Crowe? That’s your punch line? Or is it the poorly revealed red jumpsuit.
QUALITY: Willis trading on the action movie stardom that he’s banked in the last twenty-four years since he last hosted, while being strange and funny and ALSO intense helps you remember that the old guy in Looper was the cool guy in Die Hard was the FUNNY DUDE IN MOONLIGHTING. He’s funny; it’s easy to forget. I mean, when I thought he might be the dud of the first three hosts I was wrong. I can admit this.
PROBLEMATIC: Mooney sitting behind Pharoah in the Black Ops segment? Yeah, that was his LIVE portion of tonight and yet, YET he was still front-row off-center to say goodnight. I suppose if he isn’t on the show he’s at least still excited for it but COME ONE MAN, give the people ON the show a chance to stand behind the host and say goodnight. You better be giving your spot to Norton when he hosts.
PROBLEMATIC: Wait, EDWARD NORTON IS THE HOST?! Who coulda guessed that? The answer is no one. No one guessed it.
QUALITY: BOY DANCE PARTY was far and away the sketch of the night. SHAKE SHACK!
PROBLEMATIC: Vannessa Bayer is thiiiis close to keep Lady Gaga as a reoccurring character. The only problems are Gaga’s inherent loss of relevancy, and Bayer’s problematic vocal performance. Luckily Gaga’s shtick is 90% costume. Next time though, avoid the Talk Show format. Even if that means losing DJ Sebastian.
QUALITY: Seriously though, Willis as Michael Kors might be his performance of the night (on this side of Boy Dance Party), outta nowhere.
PROBLEMATIC: Katy Perry. What are you doing? STAHP (meme swerve!). I don’t know what was more poorly planned out, the furry suits for everyone who joined her for Roar (especially on her back-up singers, just no respect for the back-up singers, and DUDE you will never look cool in a white tiger suit, even playing a guitar) OR the awkward sheet trick for Walking On Air. It was a big step back into shtick from the cool progressive that Miley was starting to introduce last week.
QUALITY: Here is where we remember on October 26th we’ve got Janelle Monae. Set your DVRs just for that, ladies and gents.
QUALITY: “Whoop ‘em up and down with a pillow case full of skittles. Make ‘em taste the rainbow!”
QUALITY: Meyers and Strong trading jokes on the Bruce and Kris Jenner Divorce on Weekend Update is but the first part of this duo’s ‘Best Of’ tape.
PROBLEMATIC: Brooks Wheelan’s life choices. Especially concerning tattoos. “The only thing it means is that I shouldn’t be trusted with my own thoughts.”
QUALITY: Kirby would NOT work if not for Moynihan.
QUALITY: John Milhiser, for your lack of appearances, I will certainly remember you as the ass-end of the Centauri Vodka Centaur. Bravo.
PROBLEMATIC: Eddy didn’t quite work the first time around. Don’t try to give Killam a reoccurring character SNL, if this is your best option. Trust me, he won’t be at loss for material on the show (see: Season 39, so far). Do not encourage him, always hot SNL crowd!
PROBLEMATIC: e-Meth was good, the first time around. What the hell SNL? I know it’s garbage time, but what are we saying about the last two post-second song sketches if your THIRD one was a rerun? NO, SNL! NO! That is not how we end a show! You can NOT tell me there isn't enough material written. So, no points on repeats.

REPARATORY CAST
Taran Killam, 90 points
  • 15 points - cold open 
  • 20 points - "LIVE FROM NEW YORK!"
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - singing/dancing
  • 5 points - sketch (Lady Gaga Talk Show)
  • 5 points - sketch (Astroid & Kirby)
  • 5 points - sketch (Eddy)
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Eddy) CHECK
  • 5 points - crying


Kate McKinnon, 32 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 2 points - digital short NPC (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - sketch (Lady Gaga Talk Show)


Cecily Strong, 65 points
  • 5 points - Promos
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 20 points - "LIVE FROM NEW YORK!"
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 10 points - Weekend Update
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)


Kenan Thompson, 65 points
  • 15 points - cold open
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 5 points - sketch (Barbershop)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - singing/dancing
  • 10 points - Weekend Update (Barry Black)
  • 5 points - sketch (Astroid & Kirby)


Bobby Moynihan, 60 points
  • 10 points - opening monolouge
  • 5 points - harmonica
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 5 points - sketch (Barbershop)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - singing/dancing
  • 5 points - sketch (Astroid & Kirby)
  • 5 points - reoccurring (Kirby)
  • 5 points - crying
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)


Jay Pharoah, 35 points
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 5 points - sketch (Barbershop)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - singing/dancing
  • 10 points - digital short (Sigma)


Vanessa Bayer, 30 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - sketch (Lady Gaga Talk Show)
  • 5 points - sketch (Eddy)


Aidy Bryant, 12 points
  • 2 points - digital short NPC (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - sketch (Lady Gaga Talk Show)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)


Nasim Pedrad, 12 points
  • 2 points - digital short NPC (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)
  • 5 points - sketch (Eddy)


FEATURED CAST
Beck Bennett, 45 points
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 10 points - digital short (Boy Dance Party)
  • 5 points - singing/dancing
  • 5 points - sketch (Astroid & Kirby)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)
  • 10 points - digital short (Sigma)
  • 5 points - First cast member hugged by the Host


Mike O'Brien, 17 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 2 points - sketch NPC (Black Ops)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)


John Milhiser, 25 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)
  • 10 points - digital short (Sigma)


Noel Wells, 15 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 5 points - sketch (Centauri Vodka)


Kyle Mooney, 22 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 2 points - sketch NPC (Black Ops)
  • 10 points - digital short (Sigma)


Brooks Wheelan, 25 points
  • 10 points - parody (24 hour Energy)
  • 5 points - sketch (Black Ops)
  • 10 points - Weekend Update (as Himself)  

Yes, after our first trade last week you can now see the early results of who won the trade between Bennett and Mooney. Still the season is young, even if Bennett looks like the safer bet immediately out of the gate. Let's go to the teams to see how it scales out...


EBERSOL GROUP

THE IGNORANT SLUTS - Matt
Kate McKinnon - 32
Cecily Strong - 65
Beck Bennett - 45
John Mihiser - 25
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Unconditionally
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 172

RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - Rob
Taran Killam - 90
Aidy Bryant - 12
Mike O' Brien - 17
Kyle Mooney - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Unconditionally
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 146

FIVE TIMERS CLUB - Leah
Kenan Thompson - 65
Nasim Pedrad - 12
Mike O'Brien - 17
Beck Bennet - 45
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Dark Horse
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 144

DAN AYKROYD RAGE - Mark
Vanessa Bayer - 30
Bobby Moynihan - 60
Kyle Mooney - 22
Noel Wells - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Dark Horse
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 132

EXTREME CLOSE-UP! - Jack
Jay Pharoah - 35
Brooks Wheelan - 25
Noel Wells - 15
John Mihiser - 25
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Walking On Air
5 points for first song
10 points for second song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 115



DOUMANIAN GROUP

MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - Russel
Bobby Moynihan - 60
Jay Pharoah - 35
Kyle Mooney - 22
Beck Bennett - 45
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Unconditionally
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 167

BILL BRASKY - Saad
Taran Killam - 90
Aidy Bryant - 12
Mike O'Brien - 17
John Mihiser - 25
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Unconditionally & 2) Roar
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 144

THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - Brian
Kate McKinnon - 32
Cecily Strong - 65
Mike O' Brien - 17
Noel Wells - 15
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Walking On Air
5 points for first song
10 points for second song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 144

SUCK IT TREBEK - Sarah
Kenan Thompson - 65
Brooks Wheelan - 25
Noel Wells - 15
Kyle Mooney - 22
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Dark Horse
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 132

YOU KNOW, IT'S THE TEAM THE HIGH-WASITED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND THE BIG ASS - Kevin
Nasim Pedrad - 12
Vanessa Bayer - 30
Beck Bennett - 45
John Mihiser - 25
MUSICAL GUEST - Katy Perry - SONGS: 1) Roar & 2) Unconditionally
5 points for first song
EPISODE THREE TOTAL 117

And of course, it's EPISODE THREE of our HEAD-TO-HEAD Versus proponent.


SEASON 39 OVERALL STANDINGS (after Episode 39x03)
  1. MILLION DOLLAR BILL MURRAYS - 526
  2. DAN AKROYD RAGE - 483
  3. THE IGNORANT SLUTS - 457
  4. SUCK IT TREBEK - 449
  5. RECLUSIVE PENINSULA - 446
  6. THE TEAM YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY - 445
  7. BILL BRASKY - 394
  8. EXTREME CLOSE-UP - 392
  9. FIVE TIMERS CLUB - 386
  10. YOU KNOW IT'S THE TEAM WITH THE HIGH-WAISTED MIDGETS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE RED PANTS AND BIG ASS - 374
So we have reached the end of Season 39's opening trio of shows. Trivia Club would LOVE to hear feedback on Saturday Night Live Fantasy so far, either in the blogs comment section, on Trivia Club's facebook page or in our twitter feed. For now we'll be taking a week away to discuss, debate, and possibly trade amongst ourselves.

Join us, won't you? On October 26th, Edward Norton is hosting! I don't know if you read my complete and utter flustered reply to this earlier, but I AM excited to see a normally dramatic (and notoriously problematic) actor stretch his funny bone in a way that it usually isn't given a chance to stretch. It's his first time, and he has nothing to promote... these host predictions might not go as swimmingly as some of us hoped...


Plus Janelle Monae! Seriously, have you heard Tightrope? Then why aren't you dancing?! Until two Mondays from now, Happy Thanksgiving Canada!

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